Growing up we’re taught to expect a certain number of life milestones. From birthdays to graduations, and wedding anniversaries to work anniversaries, we grow up anticipating certain events that will inevitably impact a significant portion of our lives. And then, at a certain age we realize there are some milestones we couldn’t have anticipated — the one’s that creep up on us. The one’s we can only appreciate after they’ve past, once we realize how much our lives were impacted in their wake. I’ve spent countless hours recounting the significant milestones in my life, trying to understand how my decisions might have effected those crucial moments, constantly wondering whether or not I could have done something to change the course of my journey.
In the past, my fleeting moments of self-reflection were the product of stress and anxiety — I couldn’t stop blaming myself for circumstances completely outside of my control. Thoughts like “what did I do wrong?” and “am I crazy?” or worse, “I must have done something to deserve feeling this way” swirled around my head relentlessly. In hindsight, I know this is because I‘d been in ‘survival mode’ for so many years that I wasn’t able to think clearly. But if I’m being truly honest about it, I believed the problem was me. It felt like everyone around me was floating from one life milestone to the next and all the pieces of their lives were coming together seamlessly.
Meanwhile, I was so exhausted from working around the clock and constantly traveling that I had no energy for anything else in my life. The thought of making plans immediately overwhelmed me, even if it was just to relax or get a massage. Work conflicts required me to cancel on friends and family so many times that I eventually stopped trying to make plans at all. I was too tired to have fun, anyway. This self-perpetuating cycle became so isolating that I even started to get anxiety about going out. Work had taken up so much space in my life that I was missing out on everything that made me happy. It felt like I was treading water while everyone I loved was moving on to bigger and better things in their lives.
I still reflect on those moments in my life, but the last 3 months have completely transformed my world. Taking a leap of faith, Ellen and I decided to leave Advertising and cultivate a new world for ourselves, fueled by passion and purpose. daughters. is the manifestation of our dreams, sparked by the bravest, scariest and most exciting decision I’ve ever made. I have a long journey of self-discovery and healing ahead of me, and plenty of challenges that undoubtedly lead to many valuable lessons, but I can’t wait to see what the universe has in store for us. I’m excited about the future in a way I’ve never experienced before. By choosing to invest in myself — to focus on my personal growth and wellness — I’ve rediscovered happiness.
This process has allowed me to step outside myself for the first time in over a decade. For the first time in years, maybe even in my whole life, I’ve uncovered a deep appreciation for the universe and all the incredible things this world has to offer. Embracing uncertainty has opened my eyes to the unlimited potential Ellen and I possess, and it’s only now that I can see the most important milestones in life don’t have to be the traditional ones you learn to expect or the ones you reflect on. Sometimes they’re the milestones you didn’t plan for, borne out of new experiences and taking chances. And for me, one of these milestones was the day daughters. became an official LLC.— which also happens to fall on International Self-Care Day. The last few months have shown me the universe opens new doors to us every day and this milestone marks the start of many new adventures for daughters. I will celebrate this day for the rest of my life, because no matter what happens from here on out, our lives will be forever changed.
On March 15, 2020, we conceived our first child.
Lessons from a pregnancy and miscarriage during the COVID-19 crisis.
I have always known that IVF wasn’t my going to be my path to parenthood. I believed that if we didn’t conceive naturally, then it wasn’t meant to be. I have never felt this overwhelming need to be a mother that some women experience. Truthfully, I think I have always been afraid to...
I’m officially going in to the last week of my 8 week acne challenge, and while I’d love to say I found the magic bullet, I can’t lie. If there is one thing I know now more than ever, it’s that there’s no “one size...